A woman who had spent three years being excluded from family activities with her in-laws finally reached her breaking point one night. However, after her husband’s adverse reaction to her taking a stand, she wondered if she might have overreacted.
A Reddit user took to the platform to share the story of how she was continually excluded from her husband’s family events during their three-year marriage. She also shared the point at which it all became too much and wondered if she had overreacted.
The 32-year-old woman shared that her 35-year-old husband was great in many ways, yet she found herself grappling with a recurring question: Why was she, unlike her husband’s brothers’ significant others, only invited to monthly family dinners 50% of the time?
She shared that her husband’s family had regular dinners together and her husband’s brothers’ fianceés and girlfriends were always invited. However, her husband would tell her that she should stay home for some of them.
The tipping point came when, once again, she was asked to “sit this one out,” as her husband left for another family dinner without her. Fueled by frustration and a desire for answers, she hatched a plan. She made a reservation at the same restaurant, ensuring a table for herself alone.
Her husband left for dinner and she made her way to the restaurant 15 minutes later. As her husband dined with his family, unaware of her plans, she arrived shortly after. She maintained a low profile until she feigned needing a bathroom break, which allowed her to walk past their table, where her husband saw her.
Her husband was flabbergasted, asking her what she was doing there, while her mother-in-law deemed her actions rude. She defended herself, stating she had not intended to join them but felt like steak and had come to eat some. She then returned to her table to finish her meal alone.
When her husband arrived home after dinner, he told her what she had done was wrong and began calling her names. The woman also called her husband names and said that she should be invited to the dinners, too, because she knew that her brothers-in-law’s significant others were always invited.
Later, she updated readers on her situation. She shared that the comments she received on her post had given her the confidence to confront her husband about not being invited to his family dinners. He told her it was a family decision, to which she replied that she was family and deserved to know why she wasn’t being invited.
Her husband eventually relented and told her she didn’t fit in with his family. Being half-black, the woman asked her husband if she didn’t fit in because of her race. Her husband denied race being a factor. Yet, the hesitation in his voice when pressed about his mother’s feelings gave the woman pause. She continued questioning him until he relented.
It emerged that her mother-in-law harbored resentment towards her race, her personality, her political beliefs, and past decisions, such as spending Christmas with their family the first year she and her husband were together. Her mother-in-law had even pressured her husband into trying to find someone more like him when they first began dating.
After the couple married, the woman’s mother-in-law tried to get her husband to spend time away from her in an effort for him to be around people who were more like him. Although the woman was horrified by the admission, she felt vindicated in having a reason for not being invited to dinner.
The woman then asked her husband if he needed even more space from her, and before giving him the chance to reply, went into their bedroom and packed up her belongings. She then went to her sister’s house, from where she made the update post. She did not contact her husband while at her sister’s.
The woman shared that she was giving her husband space and thought that it was likely that they would either get a divorce or separate, but knew it was too early to tell at the time of posting. She ended the update by saying she felt she owed it to everyone who had been so supportive of her in the comments of her original post.
Many commenters shared love and support with the woman, with one saying she had done the right thing and asking her to imagine what it would have been like if she had had children with this man. The person also advised that if her brothers-in-law’s partners ever asked her why she left her husband, she should tell them the truth as they should know the type of mother-in-law they would have.
Another commenter said that the woman leaving was the best thing to do because they thought his mother would either encourage him to cheat or leave her anyway. They said that the woman deserved so much better than what that family had given her. One more person lauded her as being brave for how she was handling this unsavory situation.
What would you have done in this woman’s situation? Do you think she was wrong for going to the restaurant after her husband told her to stay home?
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